Yesterday I was hesitant to write out exactly what I was feeling because I had a lot going on inside my head. So at 2am, as my meds had completely worn off, I decided to write this blog post.
If you’re new here or this is the first blog post you’ve read by me, you may not know that I was diagnosed with ADHD (ADD) last year and our household of 7 probably has more than 50 percent of us who will also most likely have the same diagnosis. It’s becoming really clear why our family functions the way it does.
Last night, as I was scrolling through small business videos on TikTok, I came across a video that stopped me in my tracks. It’s an account from a therapist who also has ADHD and wrote a book about functioning in your home. They share videos about having a functioning home versus having an “Instagram perfect” home. They give tips and encouragement to those who are also struggling to function in their daily lives, even with medication.
As I continued to scroll through their videos, I realized that I have spent so much of my time trying to get friends, family, coworkers, and others to understand how difficult it really is to live a life bogged down with constant thoughts of how I’m going to get up and do one simple task. Then actually getting my brain to process this information into action. One task takes me probably twice as long as anyone who doesn’t have ADHD or ADD. Then add in our household family of 7 who, most do not have an official diagnosis yet, but clearly function the same way. Then try to get everyone on the same page at the same time. That rarely happens.
Next, add in something that is not in our normal routine, or set times, preparing the night before, getting up hours early, and still being late. Then having to explain to your friends, boss, school, or family that one of the children had an absolute meltdown, or is dealing with social anxiety about going to a function, event, new school, with people they don’t know. Getting dressed taking 3 hours because someone became distracted, forgot to do something, or forgot where they put something that they needed to finish getting ready.
Let’s also add in trying to prepare healthier meals for our family, staying on task to fold all the laundry, keeping a clean kitchen, bedrooms, bathrooms, etc. We do a decent job with cleaning because of schedules I created that do seem to work for us, but there are some areas of our home that are less than ideal. For example, I’m great at organizing things to look aesthetically pleasing, but then we can have a whole section of a room with tons of mail that hasn’t been sorted and there are just piles and piles of unorganized paper that need to be put away. Also, laundry tends to stay in piles. Clean piles, just not organized and sometimes not put away.
Can you imagine living this way daily? The truth is I do and there are others who are living this way. It is their reality. And some of them are successful business owners, bosses, CEOs, etc. I’m not here to make excuses or expect people to have pity on me for this. I’m just shedding light on how difficult it is to maintain life and relationships especially when others around you just don’t understand. Or they think you’re just making excuses to be lazy. Or you just talk about the things that are at the forefront of your mind and there’s no real deep conversation. Or you’re avoided, left out of, or last to be told things because you’re just not as interesting or intellectually “there” because it takes so much more time to process information. Or you seem disconnected because all the thoughts about “what I need to do when I get home” randomly flood your brain during a conversation that you just can’t seem to focus on in the moment.
I couldn’t go another day without writing this out. I won’t continue to pretend that I am living a life of “normalcy” and trying to fit in to the standards that don’t define my life and weren’t created with someone like me in mind. I may have had some setbacks and definitely struggle to keep up with everyday life, but that doesn’t mean I can’t do “normal” things. I had to get myself up and out of that discouraging mindset and stop trying so hard to get people to accept me so I can move into this next phase of my life.
If you’ve been on this journey with me, you know I’ve been trying to officially launch my business of handcrafted cards. Thankfully I don’t have employees waiting to start work and I have a one person business. I can accept the setbacks I’ve had during this process. I also know that I do have the capability to function well in this role. While there have been mental and emotional challenges along the way, I’m confident that I will look back on all that has come from this and all I’ve endured during this time and be proud of myself and all that I accomplished with a not so “normal” life.
I thank God every day for the ability to wake up and to have learned some things along the way in order to function. I’m glad I am able to raise children, still help provide a loving and caring environment for our family, and work toward my goals and dreams. Not everyday is perfect, probably more days aren’t than they are. I just hope that me sharing all that I am living with can help you if you are struggling in your day to day living with ADHD or ADD. I also hope that you will stick around for my handcrafted cards launch that will launch within the next week.
Now that you know some of my daily struggles, you may see why some things I share that would have “been done” by “normal” circumstances takes me just a little while longer. I’m always pushing myself toward growth and I’m never giving up!😉