Cloudy Days

During my toughest of times, I looked at these mountains. My favorite is when there would be clouds like this directly above them. I would often capture these images to remember that even in my darkest hours, God is there. Even when others won’t hear me, He does. When others ask me “Are you really sure that’s what’s happening?” He sees and knows the truth. When I cry, He wipes away every tear.

So what do I do with all this hurt? How do I stop crying my eyes out every 30 minutes reliving the many things I’ve never spoken of? How do I continue to go on when people only, instead of asking, TELL me how I should be, putting these expectations on me?

I remember and think of the many times He has told me to forgive. LET IT GO. Remember I’m not perfect. Remember that others aren’t either. Remember that I cannot fix others nor myself. Only God can do that. Remember those who continue to walk beside me. Remember those who heard me and helped me. Remember those who have remained a steady example of what friendship looks like, what being the church REALLY is.

Then I can come out on the other side of my anger and frustration better. Then I can walk away from the bitterness, because if I’m honest, it’s been there. Like I said in my previous post, this is a process…and not a pretty one. I am going to come out of this with peace and joy. I am taking the steps to heal these hurts. I am going to keep remembering what God says, even if I do not get it right every day.

“All bitterness, anger and wrath, shouting and slander must be removed from you, along with all malice. And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ.” – Ephesians 4:31-32 HCSB

“Therefore, God’s chosen ones, holy and loved, put on heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, accepting one another and forgiving one another if anyone has a complaint against another. Just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must also forgive. Above all, put on love — the perfect bond of unity.” – Colossians 3:12-14 HCSB

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