October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month.
I shared this photo to an old Facebook I had back in 2013. I had just had a miscarriage the week prior and was still feeling the heaviness of it all.
When I shared this photo, I had shared that this was my second miscarriage, but it wasn’t. It was actually my fourth miscarriage. I shared that it was my second because I already had 4 kids and people would often have their opinions about how many children I have. So I chose to keep those things to myself, for several years.
People can be so hurtful and cruel, blatantly and sometimes without any idea. With each pregnancy, I was always thinking of the possibility that I could lose my baby. I went through so much of those scary times alone.
Later on I realized this was part of my story. That there is life after miscarriage (for me, I know that’s not always the case for others and I’m so sorry!). I know how hard and devastating it can be to have a child, and then to have another one taken from you.
I do not discount the pain of others. I know that with pregnancy and infant loss, there can be so many different emotions and ways of dealing with them. So in me sharing my real story, a mom that now has 5 children and had 4 miscarriages, I hope it encourages you to tell your story. It just may help someone else who is afraid to be judged or hurt by others. Tell someone safe. Write it down. Paint it out. Run it off. Dance it in circles. Don’t remain silent. Tell your story.